Be Kind, Please Rewind: The Price Is Right

Sometimes the universe loves me.

I spent my morning off yesterday visiting one of my favorite thrift shops, a not-so-local Savers that I don't frequent as often as I'd like because of the distance. It's not clear across the state or anything, but it can occasionally take nearly an hour or so depending on traffic. The time spent getting there is usually worth it, though. Some of my absolute best finds have happened at that particular shop, and yesterday was no exception. Yesterday may have been my best score yet, and it didn't even happen there. Not really, at least.

While I was digging through tapes in the store's limited VHS section, an older gentleman suddenly spoke to me. Asking if I collected and watched videos still. I, of course, responded affirmatively. Although, I've actually cut back on purchasing tapes the last couple of months. Mostly it's because I haven't had much luck finding anything worth picking up. Constantly hitting the same few thrift shops and flea markets, where the selection rarely changes. Shelves lined with multiple copies of Speed (1994) or The Lost World (1997) that never go away, taking retail space away from the odder titles I might be hunting for.

He mentioned that the local library had boxes and boxes of VHS tapes that they were looking to get rid of.

And they were absolutely free.

This is the kind of scenario that I've been hoping to stumble onto since I started actively collecting tapes. It seems that all the video stores in the area closed before I considered rebuilding my collection, or they were too far away for me to justify raiding their inventory cleansing close-outs. Here was a public library, only a few minutes away, that was looking to purge their supposedly vast collection of tapes by giving them away. Thanking this mysterious messenger, I hurried off to check things out. The whole drive there was spent trying not to psyche myself up too much; worried that I'd be dreaming of the ultimate score, only for the whole thing to turn sour.

This is the first thing I saw when I walked into the library's main lobby. Carts loaded with tapes, a table littered with boxes full of more. There were signs hanging up all over that exclaimed that the VHS were free, but it was a limited time offer. In another two weeks, they'd all be gone, so take advantage now! Even with the evidence right in front of me, I was still nervous and hesitant. There was probably a limit on how many you could take, or maybe you had to have a card for the library. Whatever it was, well, there had to be a catch, didn't there?

Thankfully, there wasn't.

And, so, the hunt could now truly begin...

Another small room off to the side contained three more carts jammed full of former inventory. Titles that ranged decades, their labels marked Discarded in bold red letters. I was ecstatic. Rifling through the tapes, plucking some free and checking the condition. Oh, sure, the original boxes were mutilated; cut so they could fit in plastic cases that better fit the library's needs. I consider myself a collector, but I'm more interested in owning and watching the actual films, and less so with the condition of the case or sleeve. In a few short minutes, I'd already amassed a small pile. One of the library's employees, super-pleasant despite the fact I was there only to raid for free stuff, offered me a bag to set them in.

A few minutes later, she came back and asked if I wanted a box instead, because there was now another pile of titles sitting next to the overflowing paper bag she'd just given me.

After about an hour of searching, going through each cart and carton twice to make sure I didn't miss something in my overly-excited state, I decided to call it quits. I'd loaded the box with thirty-seven tapes, though I could have easily taken twice that. I was already feeling greedy, though, and couldn't justify taking duplicates of stuff I already owned simply because they were free. Besides, I've been stockpiling titles for years now in various formats, and I'm already wondering how I'll get around to watching them all. Maybe eventually I'll make time for them.

Otherwise, I've just been acquiring all these tapes that will one day serve as my tomb.

That, uh, actually sounds more plausible.

Here's my entire haul tucked away in the box I lugged to my car after leaving. It's a pretty solid selection of films, ranging from classic sci-fi flicks to neo-noir to art-house darlings. I'd originally intended to give a good look at everything I grabbed, but have decided instead to highlight the picks that had me most excited. Some of them actually had me on the verge of shouting for joy, which would have been both embarrassing and totally inappropriate considering my surroundings.

I've written and spoken about Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) several times in the past, but this is the first time that I've owned the original film in any format. And while I'm a bigger fan of its immediate sequel, the movie that started it all was a must-have for me. I still have a difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that we live in a world where this low-budget, "musical-comedy-horror show" spawned three sequels, an animated series, and a fair amount of merchandise in the early '90s.

It makes me glad to be alive.

I have a bit of a history with both Lone Star (1996) and Devil in a Blue Dress (1995).

Back in college, I was lucky enough to have some friends who were just as obsessed with discovering new films as I was. This meant renting stuff we might otherwise have ignored without the others' input, and here's a pair of titles that we discovered thanks to our shared love for cinema. I haven't seen either in over a decade, but I'm glad that I can revisit, and hopefully enjoy, them again.

Trash Man Trivia:  Lone Star (1996) was one of my Staff Picks at 20/20 Video, the store I worked at while I was living in West Hollywood. I don't think anyone ever rented it.

A small selection of "classic" horror and sci-fi films, including one of my all-time favorites, Them! (1954). I have very specific plans for these tapes; I'm not gonna rush into watching them like some of the others I picked out, instead saving them for part of my Halloween season. I always like having a steady mix of older and newer horror flicks for the holiday, and The Mummy's Hand (1940) is a perfect inclusion with its Universal Studios roots.

Also, I'm really pumped for The Day of the Triffids (1962). I've attempted to read the source novel on a couple of occasions, but always found it a little dry and unappealing. The film, however, I've only ever heard really good things about. We shall see, I suppose, as the days get shorter and the leaves begin to fall.

FUCK YES.

This is one of those finds that nearly had me whooping and hollering to the heavens. I'm a life-long fan of Toho's giant monsters, practically raised by Ghidorah and Rodan from the get-go. And while I already own several of Godzilla's team-ups with her, I've never owned Mothra (1961) before today. I'm an absolute sucker for this film, and the theme alone [performed by The Peanuts, Emi and Yumi Itō] is enough to give me chills.

It's also another film that I'll be saving for a night closer to Halloween.

There are a lot more goodies that I grabbed, but I'll wait on showing those off until a later date.

Except this one, because who doesn't love The Creature..?

The League: Top Ten Video

We're back with a vengeance, a triumphant return to The League of Extraordinary Bloggers, after months of radio silence. It must be a pretty interesting topic this week to pull me out of my contributing retirement, right? Well, we've been asked to tackle our Top 10... whatever we want, actually.

Normally, I'm not a fan of ranking things. Hardly a sucker for compiling Top Five Rock Albums or a grocery list of my favorite C-list celebrities. The problem is that I have a difficult time coming up with a definitive Top However Many, what with my constant shifts in mood or tastes. Something could be in my Top Three one day, and quickly be replaced by something else the next. There's just too much stuff that I enjoy to really, truly nail down a definite commitment.

So, uh, here's my Top 10 Videos That I Currently Own [in no particular order], I guess.

1. Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973).

  -- This is the oldest tape in my collection, the very first VHS that I could really call my own. I remember my grandmother actually giving in to my youthful pleading at a local outlet, and picking this up for me. I love the generic box-art, which perfectly embodies the cheapness of this release from Viking Entertainment, which is a company I know very little about. Apparently, aside from low-budget, bootleg monster movies, they also released a lot of Veggie Tales tapes? Eh.

2. Fist of the North Star (1986).

  -- I went through a brief anime phase during the early '90s, back when The Sci-Fi Channel used to air "Saturday Anime", showing films like Akira (1988), Dominion Tank Police (1988) and Demon City Shinjuku (1988). All the stuff that was sure to warp my young mind. These days, well, I'm not as big a fan. Every now and then, though, I like to pay tribute to those early days of bizarre, hyper-violent animated features. This is my absolute favorite of the half-dozen titles I own, mostly because of the adorable "Not For Kids" sticker plastered on the front.

3. Troll 2 (1990).

  --  Is it embarrassing to admit that this film actually terrified me when I was a kid? Probably, but that's okay. It hasn't prevented me from embracing it as the true "cult-classic" that it's become over the last several years. This particular copy once belonged to my friend's aunt, who briefly owned and operated an entire store based around Norfin Troll dolls during the resurgence boom of the '90s.

4. Freaked (1993).

  -- They really don't make films like this anymore. Actually, I'm not sure that there's ever been another film quite like Alex Winter's grotesque and absurd comedy, Freaked. An all-star cast of Z-grade celebrities, featuring the likes of Mr. T and Bobcat Goldthwait, some of most hilarious and inventive practical effects of the era, and a wonderfully dated '90s soundtrack. A staple of my early teens, and a flick I could still watch a million times over. I hadn't seen it in years before stumbling upon this copy at my local thrift shop.

5. Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990).

  -- One of, if not, my all-time favorite movie. I had originally taped this off HBO back when it premiered, and have since purchased it on DVD and blu-ray, but I absolutely adore this VHS-copy. This was found at the same shop as Freaked, a fantastic find, and I was doubly excited to discover that this was still sealed. I have no intention of ever opening it.

6. The Punisher (1989).

  -- I've only ever seen bits and pieces of this early comic-adaptation featuring Dolph Lundgren. Something I have regretted for years, hoping to finally settle in and watch it in full. It only seems appropriate to view the film as God intended; on glorious, low-fi magnetic tape. It's been sitting in my "to-watch" pile for way too long now. Maybe it'd be best if I stopped with this stupid list and watched the original cinematic Frank Castle kick some ass instead.

7. Batman (1989).

  --  I feel like I've written about the Bat-mania of '89 and beyond far too often. This movie was everything to me for those couple years, an obsession that's rarely been matched in the two-decades plus since. And because of my nostalgic love for Burton's classic tale of clown and bat at odds, well, I've probably owned nearly a half dozen copies of this on VHS. I went through a bad period of picking up every single one I came across, which was both costly and space-consuming. This guy here is the Highlander of my collection; there could be only one. Or something.

8. Ninja III: The Domination (1984).

  -- An aerobics instructor possessed by the vengeful spirit of a ninja-master. V8 seduction scenes. Haunted arcade games. Golf course massacres. This ridiculous film has all that and so much more. Sure, I already owned Shout Factory's blu-ray release when the opportunity to pick up this "big-box" VHS came along. But I was lucky enough to grab this from Dan Kinem of VHShitfest, one of the brilliant minds behind the VHS-documentary, Adjust Your Tracking. There was no way that I could resist.

9. Suburban Commando (1991).

  --  Goddamn, I used to rent this one all the time as a pre-teen. Combining my love for professional wrestling with an adoration for everything Christopher Lloyd, there was nothing better at the time. Again, embarrassing confession time, but this has been a tape that I've been dying to get my hands on for quite some time now. I found it buried in a bin full of loose and dirty Hasbro WWF action figures this past weekend. The seller was more than happy to give it to me for free with my large purchase of wrestling toys [which you might see a glimpse of sometime in the future].

10. TMNT: The Making of The Coming Out of Their Shells Tour (1990).

  -- Remember when the Ninja Turtles started their own KISS-esque, arena-rock band? If you're like me, you probably wish you didn't. This beat-up and unloved tape found its way into my grubby paws earlier today, thanks to an extremely generous, and totally VHS-filled, package from Brian of Awake Oh Sleeper. Of the several tapes he's sent me, this is the one that I adore most. My own childhood copy is long-gone, so I'm ecstatic to add a "new" one to my collection. I'm not sure I'll attempt a re-watch anytime soon, but it warms my heart to know that if the urge ever strikes me to, I can.

Bossanova.

Meanwhile, you can check out the rest of The League's Top Tens...

Speaking of Brian and Awake Oh Sleeper, you can check out his own list of cinematic creatures, ghouls and ghosts here.

Over at Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks, Derek shares his own Top Ten, featuring an absolutely adorable version of Kang the Conqueror and a space-faring cat.

Mason, from D.I Treasures, tells us all about his favorite cereals to munch on while watching reruns of ReBoot and the Wild West C.O.W-Boys of Moo Mesa.

And for all the rest, be sure to check out Cool & Collected.

Be Kind, Please Rewind: Favorites From Favorites

A little known fact about me is that my middle-name is Procrastination. My parents were able to glimpse into the future, and they saw that I would be the absolute slacker-est slacker in a family full of layabouts. Yes, I totally agree that it was a waste of their paranormal abilities. They could have been investing in Apple or preventing the birth of James Franco and saving us from a war with North Korea. Way to go, Mom and Dad. You've doomed us all.

Anyway.

This is a belated thank-you to a handful of incredible individuals who were kind enough to bless me with their friendships and their hand-me-down VHS. Analog bliss in the form of gifts from people who mean the world to me.

With the recent release of images from the latest installment in the series [Mad Max: Fury Road], it only makes sense to start with the most topical of treats. The copy of Mad Max (1979) on the left is one that I found at the thrift shop a while back. I feel like I may have shown it off before, but maybe I'm mistaken. I'm certainly too lazy to go back and check.

It's prettier "sister" to the right recently ended up part of my collection courtesy of Derek, The Goodwill Geek. I've ranted and raved about both the blog and the man before, but that won't stop me from doing so again. He's easily one of the most generous people I've encountered through my blogging here, but it's far from his best quality. Hilarious, and with a sense of aesthetic and taste that I can definitely admire, it's been an absolute blast getting to know him over the last year. Things have only gotten sweeter since he's joined up with the cast of Geek Fallout, which means I'm allowed the opportunity to actually chat with him on a mostly regular basis.

Another goodie from Derek, we have a nearly-forgotten gem from 1987, The Visionaries. Based on a stellar toy-line from the same year, it featured several warriors with various abilities they could harness through the use of their hologram chest-plates. The VHS was released by Hi-Tops Video, which was truly a mark of quality for the mid-'80s. They were also responsible for releasing tapes for other animated programs like My Pet Monster, Madballs and The Inhumanoids.

Remember when I mentioned earlier that I was a Class-A Procrastinator?

These two tapes were gifted to me by Laura [aka: Boo Bobby] back during the holiday. The Christmas holiday. It took me six months to finally get around to highlighting my two favorite tapes; both of them are pure nostalgic catnip for me. I was a huge fan of Ernest P. Worrell and his constant misadventures. Whether it was saving Christmas or developing super-powers after a failed execution [yes, seriously], I couldn't get enough of Jim Varney's wacky alter-ego. Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) is apparently the best received film in the franchise, and I was thrilled to add it to my collection.

Anything F.H.E [Family Home Entertainment] immediately catches my attention; the company's presence on the shelves at my childhood video store was overwhelming. When it also happens to be a Thundercats release, well, maybe I should have saved that catnip quip for this. It was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, but still manages to enthrall me to this day. Especially when it involves Monkian and a tyrannosaurus rex.

Summer has, thankfully, brought Laura back into the blogging fold. I've been lucky enough to keep in touch with her during the quiet periods thanks to other social medias, but it's doubly nice to see her writing again and sharing lovely pictures of her projects and her family.

Delicious is the first word that comes to mind when I look at this limited-edition Halloween: 10-31-78 box set. Released by Anchor Bay to commemorate the twentieth anniversary of John Carpenter's Halloween, it was a total rarity during the days of VHS. The set contained two tapes, which featured a number of interviews, deleted scenes and making-of featurettes. The type of stuff that is all too common nowadays on DVD and Blu-Ray releases, but not so with the limitations of the VHS-format.

Also, I just love the orange. I'm a total sucker for tapes molded in a color other than black, and these just scream jack o'lanterns and falling leaves and Michael Myers stalking his prey.

Gorgeous.

I may not have mentioned, but both the Halloween tapes and the one you see above originated from the dorkiest locale around, the home of Miss M. I don't have much to say about this copy of Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), except that I am in love with the New Arrival sticker on the front of the box. Probably more than the film itself, and I adore any movie that features Bobby Budnick and Don and Dan Stanton.

I do, however, have plenty to say about Miss M, and you better believe that it is all fantastic. It's hardly earth-shattering news, because I'm certain this wonderful, little community of ours is already aware of how great she is. But she's great; genuine and caring, one of the friendliest people I've ever known. Imaginative in the best way possible, it's been an inspiration reading her blog and the tall-tales she spins about her toy counterpart. It means the world to me that I get to call her my friend.

Man, favorites from favorites really should have been favorites from friends. I'd go back and change it, but then I'd be going against my nature and my middle-name.

Farewell and Adieu, Building 19

The post five months in the making.

No, it's actually the post a year in the making.

Yeah, it's officially been one year since I first bored you to tears with my tales of trash. A whole twelve months of poorly constructed sentences, drag anecdotes and awful photographs of junk that only I could care about. We can only hope that the next year [and all the years that follow!] brings more highlights from my personal trash collection and so much more of my trademark self-deprecation.

Speaking of the trash collection, some of you might remember that the blog started with a single post that took a good look at the handful of goodies I was able to pick-up at my beloved Building 19. It would have been nice to celebrate the blog's first full year by returning to the place of its birth and partying down like Adam Scott and Lizzy Caplan.

It would have been nice.

Unfortunately, Building 19 closed its doors for the last time back in December.

I know that for most people, this was not exactly upsetting news. There aren't many who gravitate to businesses like Building 19; liquidation outlets filled to the brim with long-outdated wares. The type of stuff that sat on shelves for months and years for a reason. But it's the bizarre and often surprising treasures that I frequently found lurking within that drew me back time and again during my lifetime.

Plus, it's the place that I, as a budding comic-book collector, was able to dig through dozens of long-boxes of books priced at a mere eight-cents apiece. They'd purchased the entire inventory of a comic shop that had closed due to the market crash during the mid-'90s, and so I was able to go home with a couple stacks of vintage comics for a few measly bucks. I owe my lifelong love of titles like Avengers Spotlight and Infinity Inc. to that one single back-issue buying spree.

Building 19 meant something to me, I guess.

Which is precisely why, only a week before its last day, I made a voyage to mecca. All for a chance to score big one final time. To share with you the type of stuff that will now be just a little more difficult to find out in the wild. It's the exact sort of trash that spawned this blogging monstrosity, and I'm glad to be able to take the time to pay tribute to the place where it all started.

My childhood was planted firmly in the '80s; double-digit ages hit pretty quickly when the next decade rolled around, but that didn't stop me from indulging in kid-oriented franchises even when I was well past the target audience's age-group. It shouldn't be too surprising that I was keen, even well into my teens, on animated programs like Double Dragon and CatDog.

The former should look pretty familiar to long-time readers, 'cause yes, that's another pack of Double Dragon pogs. Not entirely unlike the pack I bought and blogged about last year. And the latter, which is new to me, shouldn't be too surprising a purchase either. My love for decades-old party supplies is well-documented.

These paper plates, featuring the Biker Mice From Mars, certainly fall into the same category. I picked up two packs of them this time around, but it's far from the first time they've found their way into my collection. I probably have close to a dozen of these sitting in a box, waiting for me to throw the absolute greatest party ever. Maybe for next year's celebration.

Here's some random books?

Alien Encounters was published in the early '90s, and reminded me way too much of my brief obsession with Robert Stack and Unsolved Mysteries. The program terrified me whenever it moved into extraterrestrial territory or ghost stories, but that didn't stop me from constantly tuning in or wanting to be a paranormal investigator as a pre-teen.

Disney's Mighty Ducks was a cartoon series that deviated like crazy from the feature-film series that it owes its existence to. Instead of featuring Emilio Estevez and a hockey team consisting of scrappy, under-privileged youths and Pacey from Dawson's Creek, the animated series centered around the exploits of a group of anthropomorphic ducks from outer-space who, uh, also play hockey for some reason. The book also features a dragon!

Watch out, Chris Evans! The identity of the true Winter Soldier has been revealed, and it's Captain Canuck!

This coloring [not colouring, you weird Canadians!] and activity book features the premiere comic-book hero from The Great White North. I vaguely recall seeing random issues of his title as a kid, but I can't say I ever read about his exploits in the far-future of 1993. I imagine he protected the world from evil Americans who prefer their own beer to that of their northern neighbors. Like that cold-hearted bastard John Candy in Canadian Bacon (1995).

Man, I really splurged on terrible books, didn't I?

This is the novelization of The Reunion, a film produced and released by WWE Studios in 2011. Naturally, it stars the biggest name in all of professional wrestling, John Cena, who is joined by Ethan Embry wearing a fedora. I like to imagine the two of them teaming-up to dominate the tag-team division, and then going home and watching all thirteen episodes of Freakylinks while spooning on the couch.

Which is probably-definitely a million times better than the actual plot of the film.

I'm only now kicking myself for waiting so long to write about the wonderful and horrible discoveries made during my last trip to Shangri-La. While I was sitting around watching reruns of Night Court, some guy named Derek decided to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and start posting again on his old blog, Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks. And, of course, the jerk decided to buy his own copy of Milk Mustache Mania and feature it in his latest post.

I can't compete with his blogging abilities, so NEVERMIND INTERNET PRETEND I SAID SOMETHING AWESOME AND CLEVER ABOUT THIS.

These were the final four copies of the Dick Tracy novelization that they had left on the shelf. It's pretty upsetting, because I had planned to grow old, visiting the store every year for the sole purpose of buying a copy. Now that dream is over and the insect is awake.

The insect's name is Pruneface, I think.

There was no way that I was gonna leave Building 19 this final time without a VHS in my pile of purchases. It was absolute slim pickings, though; a far cry from just a few years back, when I would have had dozens of titles to choose from. Still, I didn't do too bad. Alien Empire was a short-lived BBC documentary series from 1995 that took a look at the world of insects that weren't named after bad-guys from Dick Tracy.

I was huge into Sailor Moon when it first started airing in syndication here in the States. The years prior were spent trying to absorb as much anime as possible, which was a pretty difficult task in the days before streaming media and immediate internet access. So, when DiC Entertainment brought the program to American audiences, I immediately fell for it. Back then, I was known to buy anything related to Sailor Moon that I could find. That's not quite the case these days, but I still like to occasionally show some love to a program that was near and dear to a newly teenaged Trash Man.

The grand total for everything I grabbed that day came to a whopping three-dollars and thirteen cents. It's the exact type of thrifty shopping "adventure" that I'm going to find happening less, now that I've lost one of my favorite destinations.

So, here's to you, Building 19. Thank you for decades of "Good Stuff Cheap".

Sob.

We're gonna need a bigger box of tissues.

Adding to the Trash Pile: Super Savers Saturday Edition

There's a couple big posts coming down the pipe-line in the very near future, but I wanted to break up the rhythm here a little while we're waiting. Sprinkle some small posts in between the weekly Bogdanovich Challenges, so it doesn't seem like I'm just half-assed reviewing classic cinema these days. Thankfully, a quick visit to my favorite thrift shop this morning proved to be fruitful. A regular fruitful station, minus Michael B. Jordan or regular Michael Jordan or any of the other guys from ProStars.

Generic He-Man and the Masters of the Universe action figures..!

That's probably the first thing you thought of when you saw the two fellas up above, and really, you're not too far off. These two Adonises, muscles sculpted from plastic-marble, are, in actuality, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair and Rick "The Model" Martel. Part of Remco's AWA [that's the American Wrestling Association] toy-line from 1985. I never owned either of these as a kid, despite being a huge fan of professional wrestling, because my heart and soul belonged to the House-that-Hulk-Hogan-built, The WWF.

Flair, I remember fondly and best as the ultimate heel; tormenting poor Miss Elizabeth and trying to tear apart her romance with "The Macho Man" Randy Savage, who was [and still is] one of my all-time favorite wrestlers. Flair betraying his former advisor, Mr. Perfect, and losing to him in a "Loser Leaves Town" match on one of the premiere episodes of Monday Night Raw. Flair leading the Four Horsemen, and epic battles with Sting and Lex Luger over in WCW.

I feel less strongly [weakly?] about Rick Martel. First off, his toy is absolutely the most plain-looking action figure I've ever seen. Before I locked down his true identity thanks to various websites, I toyed with the idea that he might be Ricky Steamboat or Tito Santana or Larry Zbysko or or or...

You get the idea.

So, besides having difficulties in identifying a mid-card talent like Martel, he also earns some red-marks for being, well, a mid-card talent. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved guys who weren't in the main-event; guys feuding for the Intercontinental Title or forming random tag-teams, because why not? But Rick Martel was best known [to me, at least] as the narcissistic heel who brought an over-sized bottle of his own "perfume" to the ring, and spraying his opponents in the eyes and blinding them.

The best thing to spring from that was him being forced to compete in a "Blindfold Match" against Jake "The Snake" Roberts at Wrestlemania VII.

I sorta' miss when I used to feel passionately about grown men wearing speedos and tights battling one another in the squared circle, but then I don't at all.

Actually, here's another two from the same AWA wrestling line. I'd never heard of "The Fabulous Ones", a tag-team consisting of Stan Lane and Steve Keirn, before today. Wikipedia informs me that they were credited with being the first team with the "Pretty Boy" gimmick, made famous by later tag-teams like The Rock 'n Roll Express and The Rockers.

God, now I wanna watch Shawn Michaels super-kick his former partner, Marty Jannetty, and then throw him through the window of "The Barbershop".

Wrestling is dumb.

I'll tell you what isn't dumb, though, and it is totally VHS.

Fred Ward portraying The Destroyer in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985) is perfection. I haven't watched the film in years, but plan on rectifying that as soon as possible. Maybe once I'm finished showing off this ridiculous junk. Don't be surprised if I can barely muster the energy or enthusiasm to say more than a few words about Disney's Darkwing Duck: His Favorite Adventures.

Actually, I guess the correct title is "Darkly Dawns the Duck", and it's an origin tale for the most beloved caped-and-cowled fowl. That ties it into the Remo Williams film better than I could have planned it to, which is equal parts awesome and really, really stupid.

I take back what I said before about VHS not being dumb. Sometimes it can be, especially if it features Launchpad McQuack.

Also, here's some comic books that I bought. They came from the dollar-bins at my local comic shop, and I didn't need to buy them at all, since I already own thousands and thousands of floppies. Unfortunately, I'm a sucker for Mike Allred's Madman riding an atomic bomb, Mark Waid-written issues of The Flash, and random, awful titles from the '90s, like Malibu Comics' Rune.

There's also a single Spider-Man book, because I definitely needed more of those.

My name now is Bo, and Bo knows nothing about saving a dollar.

Seven Random Picks From The VHSPS

While most spent this Blackest Friday waking up early to assault one another for Westinghouse televisions and dirt-cheap copies of Connect 4, yours truly was out there at 1am to sell the crazies Ipads and Xbox Ones and other expensive electronics. If my poor choices didn't lead me to a life of retail, I would have gladly slept in and eaten leftover squash pie for breakfast. No need to try and beat the crowds for door-busting deals for this Trash Man. There's still plenty of days left to shop and lots of great deals to be found online.

Like those offered by The VHS Preservation Society.

For those unfamiliar with VHSPS, it's a wonderful website that offers affordable DVD transfers of films that were previously only available on VHS. There are quite a few movies that most don't have the opportunity to catch now that videos have become an obsolete medium. Few still have a functioning VCR in their households and sometimes finding additional copies of many of these titles is near impossible or far too expensive. The VHSPS allows film fanatics the chance to add "new" copies of long-forgotten or totally unknown flicks to their collections for pennies and nickels and the occasional dime.

And, naturally, they've jumped on the Black Friday/Cyber Monday bandwagon and are currently offering fifty-percent off all their available titles between now and December 2nd. All you have to do is enter the codeword black50 when you're checking out your order and all discs are half-off. They ran a similar promotion last holiday and I was sure to take advantage of their extreme generosity.

Last year's haul wasn't super-impressive. Four flicks for a measly twenty-bucks was a great deal, too good to pass up, but I didn't have any experience with the quality of their DVD transfers, so hesitated in purchasing too many. Several of my VHS copies of these pictured films are too well-worn to watch or were damaged by tape mold, so it's nice to be able to view them at my leisure without worrying about losing the VHS forever.

The quality for each was about what you'd expect and that's not at all a bad thing. The VHSPS use the best possible source materials for their copies, but there's the occasional imperfection because they're recorded from old tapes. The memories of hours spent roaming your local mom 'n pop video store will come roaring back when you do experience the rare tracking line or audio pop. Charming in how purely nostalgic they can be.

I went a little crazier with my purchases this year. Replacing some recent thrift shop finds with questionable condition with cheap DVD copies; stuff like Stay Tuned (1992) and Neon Maniacs (1986). I'm hoping to highlight a few sometime before the year is out, but today is all about some of the other titles that caught my eye when I was buying my most recent lot of discs.

So, here's several random flicks offered by The VHSPS that I'm hoping to add to my collection sometime in the near future.

Meet The Applegates (1989) is one of those movies that I was always drawn to when I was a kid but never got around to watching. The box tucked safely away on the back wall of Video Showplace, my local haunt and the first place to employ me, with the rest of the Comedy section. I was always intrigued at the idea of giant insects posing as a stereotypical "nuclear" family with the hidden agenda of wiping out humanity. It could be because I've always been more of a fan of bizarre black comedies than your typical slapstick or satire.

Plus, Ed Begley, Jr..!

Jesus, I'd probably seen Brainsmasher... A Love Story (1993) nearly a dozen times when I was a pre-teen. It seems like HBO or TMC used to air it constantly and I'm not entirely sure why I kept coming back to watch it, but I did. We'll blame it on a huge Teri Hatcher crush inspired by her role as Lois Lane on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. It most definitely is not because of the scene where Andrew Dice Clay leaves an imprint of his fist in some yakuza thug's face, literally smashing his brain in the process.

The Keep (1983) is early Michael Mann attempting an atmospheric horror flick set during World War II and it mostly works. There's an awesome soundtrack from Tangerine Dream that is completely lacking in the current version streaming on Amazon instant video. And since it's still unavailable as a "proper" DVD or blu-ray, nabbing a copy from the VHSPS is the only way to see it as it was originally intended.

It's also further evidence that Ian McKellen can't seem to escape from appearing in movies either with or as a Nazi unless he's a fucking wizard.

I seriously doubt anything I could say about The Hidden (1987) will do it justice. Telling you that there's an alien parasite that leaps from body to body and two cops who are trying to hunt it down is the most basic way of summing it up. It's full of speeding cars and heavy metal music and explosions and a little bit of the ultra-violence one expects from an '80s action/sci-fi hybrid. Also, boobs and Kyle MacLachlan, but not Kyle MacLachlan's boobs.

Time for a true confession of a Trash Man; I love The Two Coreys. You can blame having grown up in the '80s and early '90s and watching too much cable TV, but I adore everything from The Lost Boys (1987) to Silver Bullet (1985) to Rock 'n Roll High School Forever (1991). If either of the Coreys are there, I'm in. Combine the charisma and overwhelming rad-ness-itude of both Haim and Feldman and I'm in heaven. License to Drive (1988) does that and throws in Carol Kane and a younger Heather Graham.

So overwhelming.

Charles Bands' Empire Pictures was responsible for dozens of "classic" genre flicks during the 1980s before turning into Full Moon Pictures and adding even more fantastic titles to their credits the following decade. Zone Troopers (1985) is one of my favorites. Another WWII-era flick, this one features a crashed alien spaceship and the American G.Is who must prevent the out-of-this-world technology from falling into the hands of the Third Reich. It's cheesy, sure, but in the best possible way.

The VHSPS offers copies of several old wrestling tapes; WWF and WCW fare from before their peak runs during The Attitude Era. Most are random compilations from the early '90s, but there's the occasional pay-per-view like WWF's King of the Ring show from 1993. This was the first KotR to air on PPV and is one of the most memorable from the ten-year run. You've got Hulk Hogan prior to jumping ship to WCW defending his championship title against Yokozuna and an eight-man tag match featuring The Million Dollar Man and The Steiner Brothers.

The main attraction to the show, however, was the elimination tournament to crown the true King of the Ring. Spoilers for a two decade old show, but Bret Hart defeated Bam Bam Bigelow in the finals to win. Memorable in that it would eventually lead into a lengthy feud with Jerry "The King" Lawler, a talent perhaps best known for punching Andy Kaufman one-time and hanging out with a midget named Queasy.

Wrestling is dumb.

Be Kind, Please Rewind: The Day of the Doctor

Days go by without words. They become weeks and we're forced to admit that time is not all wibbly-wobbly, that is passes all too quickly and we are never ever ever going to get it back. Best to forget regrets and apologies and get right back into the things that make us happy. That make me happy.

Like VHS and Doctor Who.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the good Doctor; his very first adventure aired November 23rd, 1963 on the BBC. It's not something I would have imagined myself celebrating a few years back, since I only became infatuated with the madman and his box a little over a year ago. It started with a friend of mine mentioning that he caught a couple episodes and that maybe I would enjoy it. Maybe I would! I did have, after all, an odd history with the Doctor.

It started with a stack of novels purchased for mere pennies each at a bookstore that was going out of business near my college. A couple dozen of his adventures sitting on a shelf, looking all too tempting bunched together like that and especially for so cheap. Plus, I was familiar enough with Doctor Who thanks to occasional appearances during the "classic" Sci-Fi Channel years. Not that I ever watched the program, mind you, but through commercials and promos like this one.

So, sometime last year I introduced myself to the current incarnation of the Doctor. I watched Matt Smith's first episode, "The Eleventh Hour", and enjoyed it and continued from there. After a couple months, I'd gone back and devoured every episode and special from the 2005 relaunch and on until the current series. I adored every adventure through time and space, every encounter with the Daleks and the Weeping Angels and even the Autons. Like my love of comic books, though, it was the continuity, the history, that I loved most.

Except I didn't know much of the history, did I? The Doctor had nearly forty-years worth of traveling and saving all of reality that I'd missed completely. Eight different actors portraying "The Oncoming Storm" that I knew little to nothing about. It was something that needed to be rectified and there was no better way to catch up on the Doctor's earlier misadventures than to watch them using an outdated media.

The wheezing of the TARDIS could only sound so good when it's coming from the faint hum of magnetic tape.

Tom Baker, who portrayed the Fourth Doctor, was the obvious place to start. With his ridiculous scarf and robotic dog, K-9, and the most beloved companion, Sarah Jane, by his side. He is arguably the most famous and recognized of all the Doctors, especially to older fans of the franchise. I picked up a copy of Pyramids of Mars from a third-party seller on Amazon, my very first Who VHS, and absolutely loved it. Even with its outdated special effects and questionable "acting", I was blown away by the idea of the Doctor battling an ancient, Egyptian space-god and his mechanical mummies. Super trippy in the best possible way.

Some more Fourth Doctor, including confrontations with the infamous Cybermen and the much more obscure Sisterhood of Karn. The middle tape is The Five Doctors, a special that celebrated the program's 20th anniversary by uniting the [then] current Doctor, Peter Davison, with all four of his previous regenerations. I've yet to watch it, but it's jumped to the top of my watch-list after spending so much of the last week engrossing myself in everything Whovian.

Castrovala is actually the first full serial that featured Davison as the Fifth Doctor and he's off to a bumpy start; forced to confront his ancient foe, The Master, on his premiere adventure. It's actually a sorta' sequel to The Keeper of Traken, which reintroduced The Master after a five-year absence from the Doctor's many, many lives.

Ah, the last two in my little collection are the oddities in Whovian lore. Amicus Productions, a British film company, is well-known for the numerous horror anthologies it's produced over the years. During the mid-60s, only a few years after the Dr. Who program originally aired, they were responsible for filming and releasing two feature-length pictures in full-color. Peter Cushing, who we all remember fondly as Van Helsing and Grand Moff Tarkin, was tasked with playing the part of "Doctor Who", a human who invented a time-machine and found himself drawn into conflict with the murderous Daleks. 

Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965) was followed by Daleks -- Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D (1966), and both were loosely based on earlier serials from the television program. While the Daleks remained mostly faithful to their TV counterparts, Cushing's "Doctor" was a simplified version; a mere human inventor who traveled along with his granddaughters, Susan and Barbara, to a planet ravaged by nuclear war. Not a far cry from the true Doctor, an alien Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, but enough so that the Amicus films are largely forgotten or ignored by most Whovians.