The Wonderful World of Toys: Day 666

Hello again, boils and ghouls, and welcome to the final Wonderful Week of Toys entry, the nail in the coffin that's come a little too late. Ah, but with every end, there's a new beginning, isn't there?  As we usher out seven days of assorted action figures and plastic dinosaurs, we look to the weeks ahead. They're all gloom-and-doom, hollowed-out pumpkins and hollowed-out skulls. All Hallow's Eve is closer than you think.

Who better to lead us down this pathway of monsters and mayhem than our good friend, The Crypt Keeper?

I've mentioned before that the popularity of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles brought about a strange age of animated series and toy-lines based on peculiar properties. Suddenly, we lived in a world where hyper-violent, R-rated flicks like Robocop (1987) and Predator (1987) could spawn series of action figures meant for children ages seven-plus. Everything was this odd mixture of terrifying and silly, all these brightly-colored nightmares clogging the pegs at your local Bradlees or Kay Bee Toys.

It's a trend that continued on into the early '90s, when you could tune into ABC's Saturday Morning line-up and catch a cartoon based on the macabre HBO-series, Tales From the Crypt. It's a show that both frightened and fascinated me as a pre-teen, so when Nelvana Limited and Warner Bros. teamed up to create a more lighthearted, animated version known as Tales from the Cryptkeeper, which was intended for younger audiences, well, I was there.

I wasn't, however, keen on collecting the toys produced to coincide with the cartoon. On the cusp on being a teenager, I was fine with watching the show on Saturday mornings, but obviously drew a line at owning the action-figures. Odd, I suppose, because nearly two decades later, and I was ecstatic to stumble upon The Crypt Keeper figure at my local thrift shop. There he was, jammed into a bag with a random assortment of Happy Meal toys and a battle-damaged Spider-Man, waiting for me to rescue him from his own nightmare.

I'd be terrified too at the prospect of spending an eternity trapped in a plastic-prison alongside Kung Fu Panda.

Be Kind, Please Rewind: Favorites From Favorites

A little known fact about me is that my middle-name is Procrastination. My parents were able to glimpse into the future, and they saw that I would be the absolute slacker-est slacker in a family full of layabouts. Yes, I totally agree that it was a waste of their paranormal abilities. They could have been investing in Apple or preventing the birth of James Franco and saving us from a war with North Korea. Way to go, Mom and Dad. You've doomed us all.

Anyway.

This is a belated thank-you to a handful of incredible individuals who were kind enough to bless me with their friendships and their hand-me-down VHS. Analog bliss in the form of gifts from people who mean the world to me.

With the recent release of images from the latest installment in the series [Mad Max: Fury Road], it only makes sense to start with the most topical of treats. The copy of Mad Max (1979) on the left is one that I found at the thrift shop a while back. I feel like I may have shown it off before, but maybe I'm mistaken. I'm certainly too lazy to go back and check.

It's prettier "sister" to the right recently ended up part of my collection courtesy of Derek, The Goodwill Geek. I've ranted and raved about both the blog and the man before, but that won't stop me from doing so again. He's easily one of the most generous people I've encountered through my blogging here, but it's far from his best quality. Hilarious, and with a sense of aesthetic and taste that I can definitely admire, it's been an absolute blast getting to know him over the last year. Things have only gotten sweeter since he's joined up with the cast of Geek Fallout, which means I'm allowed the opportunity to actually chat with him on a mostly regular basis.

Another goodie from Derek, we have a nearly-forgotten gem from 1987, The Visionaries. Based on a stellar toy-line from the same year, it featured several warriors with various abilities they could harness through the use of their hologram chest-plates. The VHS was released by Hi-Tops Video, which was truly a mark of quality for the mid-'80s. They were also responsible for releasing tapes for other animated programs like My Pet Monster, Madballs and The Inhumanoids.

Remember when I mentioned earlier that I was a Class-A Procrastinator?

These two tapes were gifted to me by Laura [aka: Boo Bobby] back during the holiday. The Christmas holiday. It took me six months to finally get around to highlighting my two favorite tapes; both of them are pure nostalgic catnip for me. I was a huge fan of Ernest P. Worrell and his constant misadventures. Whether it was saving Christmas or developing super-powers after a failed execution [yes, seriously], I couldn't get enough of Jim Varney's wacky alter-ego. Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) is apparently the best received film in the franchise, and I was thrilled to add it to my collection.

Anything F.H.E [Family Home Entertainment] immediately catches my attention; the company's presence on the shelves at my childhood video store was overwhelming. When it also happens to be a Thundercats release, well, maybe I should have saved that catnip quip for this. It was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, but still manages to enthrall me to this day. Especially when it involves Monkian and a tyrannosaurus rex.

Summer has, thankfully, brought Laura back into the blogging fold. I've been lucky enough to keep in touch with her during the quiet periods thanks to other social medias, but it's doubly nice to see her writing again and sharing lovely pictures of her projects and her family.

Delicious is the first word that comes to mind when I look at this limited-edition Halloween: 10-31-78 box set. Released by Anchor Bay to commemorate the twentieth anniversary of John Carpenter's Halloween, it was a total rarity during the days of VHS. The set contained two tapes, which featured a number of interviews, deleted scenes and making-of featurettes. The type of stuff that is all too common nowadays on DVD and Blu-Ray releases, but not so with the limitations of the VHS-format.

Also, I just love the orange. I'm a total sucker for tapes molded in a color other than black, and these just scream jack o'lanterns and falling leaves and Michael Myers stalking his prey.

Gorgeous.

I may not have mentioned, but both the Halloween tapes and the one you see above originated from the dorkiest locale around, the home of Miss M. I don't have much to say about this copy of Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), except that I am in love with the New Arrival sticker on the front of the box. Probably more than the film itself, and I adore any movie that features Bobby Budnick and Don and Dan Stanton.

I do, however, have plenty to say about Miss M, and you better believe that it is all fantastic. It's hardly earth-shattering news, because I'm certain this wonderful, little community of ours is already aware of how great she is. But she's great; genuine and caring, one of the friendliest people I've ever known. Imaginative in the best way possible, it's been an inspiration reading her blog and the tall-tales she spins about her toy counterpart. It means the world to me that I get to call her my friend.

Man, favorites from favorites really should have been favorites from friends. I'd go back and change it, but then I'd be going against my nature and my middle-name.

Halloween is Dead. Long Live Halloween.

Yeah, Halloween is over and all that's left is gathering up the ghoulish garbage and tossing it out with the rest of the trash. Scouring the clearance aisles at your local retailer like a vulture or a hyena with Whoopi's cackling laugh in search of cheap decorations and half-price, fun-size Milky Ways. It's time to make like Target and CVS and Wal-Mart with everything red and green and silver and gold. Ho-ho-ho and don't forget to tramp the dirt down on the shallow grave of All Hallows' Eve.

Unlike all you ungrateful monsters, who've moved on to tinsel and gingerbread and goddamn candy canes already, I'm not too quick to dismiss Halloween. I can't! There's still so many horror flicks to watch and I never carved a Jack O'Lantern and is it kosher to eat Frankenberry and Yummy Mummy post-holiday? Too much stuff left undone could mean more to look forward to next year, I guess, but that's far away and I'm easily distracted. I need something to keep me focused on spooky shenanigans and there's only one guy I can turn to for the moral support.

The Goodwill Geek did a stellar job of documenting his own Halloween season, which was already enough to get me in the mood for the macabre. Everything from carving pumpkins to highlighting creepy reads and all the eerie decor you could ever want. And along with sharing daily insights into his own [and his wonderful family's] frightening festivities, he was also kind enough to share some treats with yours truly.

It's hardly the first time he's sent a box full'a treasures my way, but it's certainly the most terrifying selection of trash to ever grace my doorstep. Let's take a peek at the deadly delights that are sure to keep me dreaming of vampires and graveyards and falling leaves for the next few weeks.

Skeleton Warriors..!

You might remember that the previous package from Mr. G.W Geek contained an awesome assortment of monochromatic mini-figures; the highlight of which was a skeleton archer. Well, there was four-times the battle-ready boneheads this time around and I absolutely adore them all. Just looking at this sinister quartet and I can hear Danny Elfman's "March of the Dead" playing.

I recognized one of the creatures that comprise this unlikely pair right away, but it took a little digging to ID the other. Odd that the monster I couldn't place belonged to the original line of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers toys circa 1994. I was on the verge of middle school at the time, perhaps too old for spending my Saturday mornings familiarizing myself with the exploits of Jason and Kimberly and Alpha 5. But aye-yi-yi-yi-yi, I kept up with their adventures until the arrival of Lord Zedd and Tommy becoming the White Ranger. I must not have been paying too close attention, though, because I don't ever recall the Rangers battling The Clawing Dramole. He's the perfect combination of ridiculous and monstrous, which is sorta' why I loved watching the Power Rangers in the first place.

His brighter blue bud beside, however, I recognized immediately as being from the short-lived Creepy Crawlers cartoon and toy-line. I only recall catching a few episodes of the animated series and never owned any of the action figures, but after digging him out of that box, I kinda' wish that I had invested more into both.

Oh! I didn't remember his name or anything about the character, but it turns out that he's known as Commantis. In the cartoon series, he was created when a batch of kung-fu video tapes [YES!] were dropped into the "Magic Maker" and so he's a ninja/karate-master/samurai mantis-hybrid that was born from VHS and supernatural slime. Sounds right up my alley, doesn't it?

A couple more Power Rangers pieces, but these two are from the theatrical feature film and not the long-lasting television series. The Red Ranger isn't Jason, I guess, since he was probably already off in WeHo doing gay-porn by this point in the franchise's history. He was replaced by Rocky, who may as well have gone on to do the same following his own tenure as team-leader. It really doesn't matter what the second Red Ranger ended up doing, because he'll always fail to live up to his predecessor. And there's no way he's as cool as the other "bendie" Power Rangers toy I've got here-- the Tengu.

No, it's not the mythical creature from Japanese folklore, though they do share a name. This "bird-warrior" is instead the feathered henchman of one-time Rangers' foe, Ivan Ooze. I've never seen Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie, but apparently they were created when ol' Ivan hocked a loogie and they formed from his slimy spit. I just went and watched the clip and man, Goldar seemed way too into it.

The Stalker Predator doesn't look too pleased with being stuck between two non-poseable pieces of Power Rangers memorabilia and I can't say that I blame him. Released by Kenner in [wait for it...] 1994, he's used to keeping far better company. A companion set to their killer Aliens line from a few years earlier, the Predator series boasted a fantastic assortment of "yautja" warriors. The Stalker figure, with its glow-in-the-dark feature and its armor consisting of xenomorph remains, is probably one of the best offered. I'm psyched to add him to my growing Aliens/Predators collection.

I'm not sure where The Geek dug up these bizarre half-person, half-animal horrors from, but I love them dearly. Perhaps not as much as they love one another, but who can blame Shellfish Guy and Frog Lady for falling for one another so passionately. Neither had many options for mating, so let them figure out the logistics between the two getting super-freaky and we'll all just be happy for them and their unholy union. Remember to use protection, you two!

Pirate-themed Scooby and the gang..!

I can actually appreciate the exclusion of Freddy, because lord knows I hate ascots. I will not, however, forgive whomever is responsible from making these toys for leaving out my personal favorites, Scrappy Doo and Flim-Flam. It puts me in a minority, I'm sure, but my love for The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo [mostly due to Vincent Price's involement] knows no bounds. I just want to own something physical to pay tribute to the best 11-episodes of the Scooby Gang's misadventures and I don't think that's asking for much. Someone please get on that as soon as possible.

Please and thank you.

Out of the toys and into the fine literature.

Yes, I do consider Nintendo's Worlds of Power: Simon's Quest to be one of the greatest books ever written. There's a reason why I "borrowed" a copy from a friend in grade-school and never got it back to him. Of course, that copy mysteriously vanished sometime between 1993 and now, so for all I know the supposed "goodwill" of a certain Geek may have been hiding the guilt of a notorious book-thief who is just now returning my stolen property. I still have no plans to get it back to the original owner, though.

I don't have a whole lot to say about Freddy Krueger's Tales of Terror: Twice Burned just yet. I'm hoping to give it a good read-through sometime this week, and maybe hopefully there's a future post lurking within those pages. If you're fiending for some nightmarish tales now, however, you can always go take a a quick detour over to Miss M's place. Her latest Dorkette Book Club featured another title in the series, Virtual Terror, and I'm sure it pales in comparison to the personal tale she also shared with her readers in that very same post.

Because I needed more reasons to declare The Goodwill Geek one of the most generous individuals I know, he decided to include Stephen King's Cycle of the Werewolf, a novella I've been searching for a copy of for a while now. Eric from Toyriffic posted about it as part of his own Halloween countdown a little while back and I happened to leave a comment mentioning my hunt. So, naturally, G.W being the observant and way-too-nice guy that he is, noticed that and sent a copy my way. Because he really is just that incredible a person.

It almost makes me sick with gratitude and envy.

Where as Son of Celluloid, a vicious graphic novel that features the art of Steve Niles, might just make me nauseous with its gory and violent depictions of a sentient tumor tormenting the occupants of a movie theater. Most of Clive Barker's works leave me feeling a little filthy, but I think this one will probably earn the top-spot when I eventually get around to devouring the book's contents.

VHS..!

Like I said, the man pays attention. And while I've never been shy about sharing my love for magnetic tape, it's always nice to add some more analog to the collection. The Last Starfighter is an old favorite of mine, but one that I haven't found before on video, so I'm glad to have it. I also had never heard of The Final Sanction before tearing it free from that box, but it looks amazing and the description on the back does not disappoint. We may be seeing the return of my "weekly" [ha ha] Be Kind, Please Rewind feature soon so I can pay the proper respect I'm sure it deserves.

My sincere thanks once again to The Goodwill Geek for amazing gifts, sure, but especially for always sharing kind words and thoughts, and for giving us one of the best blogs out there. Here's to you, mate!

...he also sent me The Boxing Noid and I seriously love it more than life itself.

Halloween Is For Halloweenies

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Yeah, I'm taking a quick break from my own lame festivities, eating way too many sweets and watching nothing but horror flicks, to wish you all the best on this happiest and spookiest of holidays. I hope everyone is having a blast with their own methods of celebration, whether it's handing out treats or carving pumpkins or wearing slutty costumes and getting totally wasted.

Just remember to send me pics, all you drunks in slutty costumes.

[And be sure to drop by again this weekend, 'cause I'm planning on taking a look at all the terrifying goodies that I forgot to highlight prior to the big day.]

Favorite "Horror" Films Discovered: 2013 Edition

I try to watch a lot of movies. Sometimes I even pretend that the small selection of flicks I manage to see throughout the year is a solid number. Then I stumble across some other blog or another person's Letterboxd account and realize that for someone who claims to love movies, I don't really get around to viewing that many. It's something I was hoping to rectify this past year, especially when it came to catching up on the essentials or classics of cinema. Of course, along with sitting down and absorbing all these films, I've also been hoping to document my experiences with each.

And since we're now less than a week away from Halloween, I thought it might be a nice time to share my Top 7 Favorite Horror Films Discovered [so far] In 2013. In no particular order, naturally.

PHANTASM II (1988) -- Directed by Don Coscarelli

The final three films in the Phantasm series could very well have taken nearly half the available slots in this Top 7 list if I allowed 'em to, but I've decided to pick one and stick with it. I've briefly written about my love for all things related to The Tall Man's misadventures before and made sure to mention how Part II was the most accessible. It shouldn't be too surprising that the surreal, dream-like quality of the original Phantasm turns nightmarish this time out, since it was released during the peak of The Nightmare on Elm Street craze.

It also boasts the largest budget of any of the Phantasm films, since it was backed by Universal Studios, who were looking to score a serious horror franchise. Of course, they later decided to practically bury the series by refusing to release either of the other two sequels theatrically. And while I still enjoy Parts III and IV, it's their "big budget" brother that I find myself wanting to revisit most.

THE VIDEO DEAD (1987) -- Directed by Robert Scott

There are some films that you wait forever to see and they never seem to live up to all the anticipation. THE VIDEO DEAD is thankfully not one of those. With some of the best cover art to ever grace a VHS box, there was the concern that what I originally saw wasn't going to be what I got when I finally managed to watch it. No, I would never argue that it's a good movie, but it's certainly an entertaining one.

But then, it's impossible not to love a flick that deals with a "supernatural" television set that acts as a portal for the undead to invade our world.

BLACK ZOO (1963) -- Directed by Robert Gordon

Most people will probably remember Michael Gough best for portraying Alfred Pennyworth, butler extraordinaire, in the Bat-flicks from the 90s. I would have been one of those people too if I hadn't splurged on a copy of BLACK ZOO from the Warner Archive Collection earlier this year. This early thriller features Gough as a deranged zookeeper and leader of an animal-worshiping cult, who uses the large cats [and a gorilla!] from his private collection to murder and maim.

RAZORBACK (1984) -- Directed by Rupert Mulcahy

Outside of the Mad Max series, this grimy flick from the director of HIGHLANDER served as my true introduction to the "Ozploitation" sub-genre. It features the most insane opening sequence I've ever witnessed and the intensity rarely lets up from there. There's a layer of filth that permeates from every location and nearly every character you'll meet in the film's 95-minute running time. Brutal, yes, but so very worth seeing. It may go down as one of my favorite film discoveries from any genre this year.

NINJA III: THE DOMINATION (1984) -- Directed by Sam Firstenberg

You could argue that NINJA III isn't much of a horror film, but since it centers around a young woman possessed by the spirit of a ninja assassin, I'm gonna say it counts. Lucinda Dickey portrays Christie, the aforementioned woman, who prior to becoming a unstoppable killing machine is both an aerobics instructor and a telephone repairman. She's forced to deal with this murderous ghost menacing her with haunted arcade games while being wooed by the cop that was involved in the ninja assassin's death.

An absurd piece of cinema that's sure to delight even the most jaded of film fans.

STREET TRASH (1987) -- Directed by Jim Muro

Disgusting in the best way possible. Where most movies might skirt the edge of offensiveness, STREET TRASH leaps clear off it and into a sea of exploding hobos and melting derelicts. Everything is wet and neon sick and repugnant. It occasionally reminds me of REPO MAN (1984) in how it seems driven by a raw energy and nihilistic attitude.

Also, it's probably the only film I'll ever see that features a scene where a group of homeless degenerates play keep-away with a severed penis.

DUEL (1971) --Directed by Steven Spielberg

This easily ranks as one of my favorite Spielberg films and it's embarrassing how long it took me to see it. I'd heard for years that it does for driving on the highway what JAWS (1975) did for going in the ocean, and there's no real reason why I waited so long to watch. I'm just glad that I hadn't heard much else about DUEL before viewing, because it's tense in a way that so few films manage these days, and all the uncertainty of the protagonist's fate would have been ruined otherwise. Even now, knowing how the movie ends, I'm eager to give it another go sooner than later.

The "Trash 'r Treat" Free Giveaway Results

I'm running a few hours later than promised, but here I am with the results of the latest Free Giveaway. I should be sprinkling this announcement with all sorts of cliched Halloween puns like The Cryptkeeper or some other animatronic puppet who hosted their own horror-anthology program and also terrified me when I was a child. Sad to say that instead this will be brief, so brief, due to my spending time with real live people like someone normal might. Being social doesn't suit me, I think.

Right, so, anyway.

Big congrats to the darling and daring Miss M, she of Diary of a Dorkette, who has won the first annual Trash 'r Treat Free Giveaway!

For those of you who aren't already doing so [which I hope is no one], you need to head on over to her blog and check it out. Even when she's not recounting the misadventures of her toy counterpart or contributing to The League of Extraordinary Bloggers, she's still absolutely killing it with fresh content. And this Halloween season has seen a fantastic array of posts, featuring everything from Freddy Krueger novels to Lalaloopsy dolls.

Thank you again to everyone who entered, to everyone who shared fond memories of Halloween and to all who take time out of their days to check out the blog!

My Favorite Halloween Destinations

Misleading title might be a tad misleading. You see, I never go out. Rarely go out. Adventures are something for bolder individuals to undertake while I'm sitting at home watching Seinfeld reruns. Most of my journeys center around trips to shops, thrift or otherwise, and the occasional visit to a friend's home. Even during this most exciting of seasons, I don't deviate from my self-imposed hermit lifestyle.

When I use the word "destinations", well, clearly I'm referring to websites I visit.

I've done a mediocre job celebrating my favorite time of year despite all the thrilling goings-on. I take solace knowing that there are those out there wearing their pumpkins on their sleeves and documenting it for all to see. I wanna thank each and nearly every one of them for offering me a chance to live vicariously through all their spooky discoveries and recounted tales of Halloweens past.

My sincere thanks look suspiciously like images stolen from their sites and a few kind and poorly written words.

It only makes sense to start with the grand-daddy of sites obsessed with everything "retro" and nerdy-- Dinosaur Dracula. The man most responsible for sorta' inspiring me to take to the internet and share my love for pop culture, Matt, actually started out celebrating the holiday on his original site, X-Entertainment. His infectious enthusiasm for horror flicks, seasonal candy and jack o'lanterns thankfully carried over to DinoDrac and shows no signs of ever letting up. Which is good, because visiting his site and absorbing every post has become as much a yearly tradition for me as eating too many bowls of Count Chocula and watching Army of Darkness on VHS.

While some people only share their love for all things horrific and bizarre during the Halloween season, well, there are those who can't help but gush all year round. Such is the case over at Freddy in Space. It makes perfect sense to indulge in horror-centric sites when the leaves are changing colors and you can find candy corn on all store shelves. You really should be hanging with Johnny and celebrating "slashers" during those other times of year, too, though. If you're not already, you need to get on that, kids.

Totally completing this Trilogy of Terror from New Jersey is The Sexy Armpit. I've been loving Jay's look at all the macabre happenings in the Garden State; everything from visiting costume shops and glow-in-the-dark miniature golf, to recapping episodes of Ah! The Real Ghostbusters. He's also running the coolest Halloween-themed giveaway this side of the Trash Pile. He's not only doing things right when it comes to celebrating the holiday, but he's also super-generous and twice as sexy.

 Rupert Pupkin Speaks is a little less concerned with candy and old, animated Halloween specials than most other sites I've picked to highlight, but it has something else that makes it a fantastic destination for me-- the Favorite Underrated Horror series. A number of film historians, critics and archivists each get to share their personal lists of what they believe are the best of the best "forgotten" horror flicks. It's an absolute treasure-trove of cinematic gems certain to make this Halloween season the scariest one yet.

Of course, if you're looking for something to watch this October, you can always take a peek over at the official Scream Factory site. A great, lil' off-shoot of Shout Factory!, they offer dozens of terrific titles to thrill even the most jaded of horror enthusiasts. It doesn't hurt that they're offering killer deals and one of the best contests I've ever seen; a chance to win every single title they plan to release in 2014. And if the movies they've already announced or teased are any indication, it'll be well worth an entry.

If you're like me and you don't want to leave the comfort of your basement dwellings but still want to make the most of the holiday, you need to check out Retro-Daze. They're looking to share fond memories of Halloweens long ago and are all dolled up for the occasion. If you're free tomorrow night [Thursday the 17th], you should check out the Retro-Daze Public Domain Theater, where they'll be airing their first Halloween Special. It looks to be filled with all sorts of vintage spooky treats and you don't even need to don a costume and knock on any doors to receive 'em.

Hell, you don't even have to wear any pants.

The "Trash 'r Treat" Free Giveaway

We're nearly halfway through October and there hasn't been a whole lot of celebratin' the season of the witch here at the ole' Trash Pile. Besides watching the occasional "scary movie" and chowing down on Halloween-themed Oreo cookies, I've been slacking when it comes to everything spooky. Even with all this neglect, that doesn't mean that the blog's monthly contest was gonna sneak by without a horrifying twist. Gone is the usual "One Man's Trash" giveaway, replaced with spiders and skeletons and all those things that go bump in the night.

Welcome, boils and ghouls, to the first annual "Trash 'r Treat" Free Giveaway.

I'm beyond excited for this one. The prizes that will lurk within have been piling up the last couple months. A morbid mix of creepy candy, freaky films and the all the odds and ends fit to be buried with.

Of course, because this is different from my usual monthly giveaways, the rules are slightly different. It's still easy enough to enter, but with a little twist-- I'm asking everyone who wants a shot at winning to leave a comment, something related to Halloween; whether it's a cherished memory of the holiday or a favorite candy or a horror flick you can't go without watching every year.

And because I want the winner to receive their prizes before the Big Day, the contest will only run for four frightening days. I'll be randomly drawing the winner's name on Thursday the 17th by 8PM, so be sure to drop [dead] a line before then.

Best of luck and pleasant screams!

The Best Dollar Ever Spent: Halloween Edition

I've wasted a lot of dollars over the years. We're not talking large sums of cash spent on big purchases or anything like that. This has more to do with the singles dropped on candy and cheap back issues and the dollar menus at numerous fast-food joints. One dollar doesn't buy much; certainly not the type of stuff to write home or blog about. This Halloween season, though, it seems that good ole' Samhain worked his dark magic to bring something truly wonderful into my world.

It all started a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Actually, it started in the dollar bins at my local Target, but that doesn't make it any less amazing.

My days as a true-blue, "baby, I love you" fan of Star Wars are gone. That didn't stop my heart from racing at the sight of this Grab and Go! Play Pack. A joint venture between LucasArts and Dalmation Press, this children's activity kit combines the spookiest holiday around with one of the greatest sci-fi franchises of all-time. Re-imagining the Dark Lord of the Sith and his merry band of galactic stormtroopers as skeletons doesn't seem so epic, but goddamn if I don't feel like I could demolish Alderaan with the power of love I feel

for this pack containing cheap stickers and a tiny coloring book.

And here are those cheap stickers. Ranging from adorable to awesome, they depict stuff like Boba Fett riding a broom, C-3PO carrying a pumpkin and Dio de Los Muertos-inspired Stormtrooper helmets. All so great. I'm especially fond of Darth Vader looming ominously over a bowl of candy that looks suspiciously like half a Death Star.

The art inside the miniature coloring book varies in quality, but I still love nearly every image that lays within. Even though Princess Leia looks like a failed attempt to cash in on the popularity of the Bratz doll-line, I still love her hovering on her witch's broom, surrounded by cute, lil' bats.

I'm less sold on Luke carving a pumpkin with his lightsaber, but he's still pretty great.

YES.

It's a simple enough image, sure, but it's also my favorite in the whole pack. The silhouettes of several iconic Star Wars characters, so easily recognizable, carrying jack o'lantern pails to collect their treats. The details aren't really there, but it appears that the "moon" behind them isn't a moon at all. How fitting.

I also enjoy the fact that it sorta' resembles the theatrical poster for Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. But maybe that's just me.

Halloween Countdown: The Quick and the Dead

Today was the first time this season that I had to put on a hoodie before walking out to my car this morning. Hoodie weather means that it is officially Fall, so I feel it's only appropriate that I also officially kick off my Halloween Countdown. This doesn't mean the blog's going to be overrun by spooky scary just yet, but you can definitely expect the ocassional ghoulish update.

Like today..!

It seems like most of the local retailers are finally starting to get around to setting their holiday aisles and end-caps. There's no signs of summer, not a trace of beach blankets or bathing suits, all replaced by pumpkins and owls and the loveliest shades of orange. This includes the store that I work at, thankfully, which means breaks spent wandering the seasonal department in search of goodies.

Today's find just so happened to be this guy above. Frankenstein's Monster in Blue isn't just some tacky decoration or trick-or-treat bucket for the kids. Though, once you're finished with the sweet contents of his skull, he can certainly double as one or the other. Yup, that's right, there's candy inside that corpse's cranium. Probably one of my favorites, too.

I never took up smoking when I was a not-so-rebellious teen. My "oral fixation" centered on Dum-Dums and Charms Blow Pops. Even nowadays when I take a trip to the bank, I'll always fish through the dish of lollipops for something sweet. I am a sucker for suckers. And I'm not quite sure when it is that I first stumbled across the Chupa Chups brand, but I should have written it down, because it was a most glorious day indeed.

Ten bucks bought me a 100-count of various flavors, from watermelon to cola to orange creamsicle, but the real reason I spent that cold, hard cash was the ridiculous container they came in. There were three colors of Frankie's Monster to choose from; the blue I went with, a very traditional green, and a purple one. I'm looking at pics of the purple piece now online and realizing I made have made a terrible mistake.

No, I take that back. There's no way this purchase was anything other than absolutely brilliant.

The Summer is Dead. Long Live Halloween.

It's seems sometimes that the "nerd-geek" blogging community is sharing the same nerdy/geeky brain, because on every single blog there is one holiday that rises above the rest and becomes their entire focus months and months in advance.

In the immortal words of The Shaggs, "It's Halloween."

There has to be a reason for it, right? A love for scary movies or getting to wear costumes and go trick-or-treating. One night a year where we, as kids, got to break the rules and take candy from strangers. Stay up late watching R-rated slashers and classic Universal fright flicks. A time when it was okay to dress up like monsters and villains without being labeled a weirdo. Maybe it's just an appreciation for the color scheme, everything orange and green, black and purple and sometimes silver.

Or it could be that even our cereal boxes are suddenly adorned with creatures of the night?

It was only eight days ago that rumors started circulating that in addition to the usual Halloween releases of Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Frankenberry, General Mills would also be releasing from their vaults the two long-discontinued Monster cereals, Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute. The man responsible for initially spreading those wonderful, amazing words was none other than Matt, he of Dinosaur Dracula and formerly of X-Entertainment. We all trust Matt, because honestly, it feels like he's responsible for the vast majority of us getting into blogging in the first place. The guy practically paved the way for nostalgic weirdos to take to the internet and share their love of all things nerdy and dumb.

Anyway, only a short time after the initial rumors started, it was confirmed. They, all five of the monsters, were coming back this Halloween season. The masses rejoiced. The heavens shook. More stuff happened that was crazy and unbelievable, but now nothing was unbelievable because THEY WERE ALL COMING BACK.

And I already found one of 'em.

Well, to be fair, I found four so far, but I'm not counting the Count, Boo- or Frankenberry. I stumbled upon them at a local Walgreens last week, taking up an entire little display towards the front of the store. I went so far as to overcome my usual anti-social tendencies to ask the cashier if she had seen the other two cereals. She had not.

I vowed to return and claim the missing two, the ones that had eluded me my entire life. I was only two when Fruit Brute was originally discontinued, so I never had a shot of trying it. Yummy Mummy was available during the late '80s to the early '90s, but my own mummy wasn't keen on cereals with marshmallows, so the only memories I have of its short run were the ads that littered Marvel comics during those earlier years.

And then, about an hour ago, I found the now-dubbed "Fruity" Yummy Mummy sitting beside his monstrous brethren and nearly wept at the sight. Instead, totally embarrassed, I shelled out the three bucks to the very same cashier [and who, of course, recognized me] and hurried home to share the news with you.

You might be asking, after all this time, how does it taste?

I don't know! I was so excited to share the news that I haven't even opened the box yet!

It seems like such a huge event to me that it needs to be treated like an experience. Which is precisely why I have The Monster Squad (1987) loaded in my player, waiting for me to pour a bowl and enjoy the "official" launch of my own personal Halloween season. Two months early, sure, but it doesn't matter. This is my time, our time, and their time too, so let's all enjoy it together. Happy Halloween..!