Yeah, Halloween is over and all that's left is gathering up the ghoulish garbage and tossing it out with the rest of the trash. Scouring the clearance aisles at your local retailer like a vulture or a hyena with Whoopi's cackling laugh in search of cheap decorations and half-price, fun-size Milky Ways. It's time to make like Target and CVS and Wal-Mart with everything red and green and silver and gold. Ho-ho-ho and don't forget to tramp the dirt down on the shallow grave of All Hallows' Eve.
Unlike all you ungrateful monsters, who've moved on to tinsel and gingerbread and goddamn candy canes already, I'm not too quick to dismiss Halloween. I can't! There's still so many horror flicks to watch and I never carved a Jack O'Lantern and is it kosher to eat Frankenberry and Yummy Mummy post-holiday? Too much stuff left undone could mean more to look forward to next year, I guess, but that's far away and I'm easily distracted. I need something to keep me focused on spooky shenanigans and there's only one guy I can turn to for the moral support.
The Goodwill Geek did a stellar job of documenting his own Halloween season, which was already enough to get me in the mood for the macabre. Everything from carving pumpkins to highlighting creepy reads and all the eerie decor you could ever want. And along with sharing daily insights into his own [and his wonderful family's] frightening festivities, he was also kind enough to share some treats with yours truly.
It's hardly the first time he's sent a box full'a treasures my way, but it's certainly the most terrifying selection of trash to ever grace my doorstep. Let's take a peek at the deadly delights that are sure to keep me dreaming of vampires and graveyards and falling leaves for the next few weeks.
You might remember that the previous package from Mr. G.W Geek contained an awesome assortment of monochromatic mini-figures; the highlight of which was a skeleton archer. Well, there was four-times the battle-ready boneheads this time around and I absolutely adore them all. Just looking at this sinister quartet and I can hear Danny Elfman's "March of the Dead" playing.
I recognized one of the creatures that comprise this unlikely pair right away, but it took a little digging to ID the other. Odd that the monster I couldn't place belonged to the original line of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers toys circa 1994. I was on the verge of middle school at the time, perhaps too old for spending my Saturday mornings familiarizing myself with the exploits of Jason and Kimberly and Alpha 5. But aye-yi-yi-yi-yi, I kept up with their adventures until the arrival of Lord Zedd and Tommy becoming the White Ranger. I must not have been paying too close attention, though, because I don't ever recall the Rangers battling The Clawing Dramole. He's the perfect combination of ridiculous and monstrous, which is sorta' why I loved watching the Power Rangers in the first place.
His brighter blue bud beside, however, I recognized immediately as being from the short-lived Creepy Crawlers cartoon and toy-line. I only recall catching a few episodes of the animated series and never owned any of the action figures, but after digging him out of that box, I kinda' wish that I had invested more into both.
Oh! I didn't remember his name or anything about the character, but it turns out that he's known as Commantis. In the cartoon series, he was created when a batch of kung-fu video tapes [YES!] were dropped into the "Magic Maker" and so he's a ninja/karate-master/samurai mantis-hybrid that was born from VHS and supernatural slime. Sounds right up my alley, doesn't it?
A couple more Power Rangers pieces, but these two are from the theatrical feature film and not the long-lasting television series. The Red Ranger isn't Jason, I guess, since he was probably already off in WeHo doing gay-porn by this point in the franchise's history. He was replaced by Rocky, who may as well have gone on to do the same following his own tenure as team-leader. It really doesn't matter what the second Red Ranger ended up doing, because he'll always fail to live up to his predecessor. And there's no way he's as cool as the other "bendie" Power Rangers toy I've got here-- the Tengu.
No, it's not the mythical creature from Japanese folklore, though they do share a name. This "bird-warrior" is instead the feathered henchman of one-time Rangers' foe, Ivan Ooze. I've never seen Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie, but apparently they were created when ol' Ivan hocked a loogie and they formed from his slimy spit. I just went and watched the clip and man, Goldar seemed way too into it.
The Stalker Predator doesn't look too pleased with being stuck between two non-poseable pieces of Power Rangers memorabilia and I can't say that I blame him. Released by Kenner in [wait for it...] 1994, he's used to keeping far better company. A companion set to their killer Aliens line from a few years earlier, the Predator series boasted a fantastic assortment of "yautja" warriors. The Stalker figure, with its glow-in-the-dark feature and its armor consisting of xenomorph remains, is probably one of the best offered. I'm psyched to add him to my growing Aliens/Predators collection.
I'm not sure where The Geek dug up these bizarre half-person, half-animal horrors from, but I love them dearly. Perhaps not as much as they love one another, but who can blame Shellfish Guy and Frog Lady for falling for one another so passionately. Neither had many options for mating, so let them figure out the logistics between the two getting super-freaky and we'll all just be happy for them and their unholy union. Remember to use protection, you two!
Pirate-themed Scooby and the gang..!
I can actually appreciate the exclusion of Freddy, because lord knows I hate ascots. I will not, however, forgive whomever is responsible from making these toys for leaving out my personal favorites, Scrappy Doo and Flim-Flam. It puts me in a minority, I'm sure, but my love for The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo [mostly due to Vincent Price's involement] knows no bounds. I just want to own something physical to pay tribute to the best 11-episodes of the Scooby Gang's misadventures and I don't think that's asking for much. Someone please get on that as soon as possible.
Please and thank you.
Out of the toys and into the fine literature.
Yes, I do consider Nintendo's Worlds of Power: Simon's Quest to be one of the greatest books ever written. There's a reason why I "borrowed" a copy from a friend in grade-school and never got it back to him. Of course, that copy mysteriously vanished sometime between 1993 and now, so for all I know the supposed "goodwill" of a certain Geek may have been hiding the guilt of a notorious book-thief who is just now returning my stolen property. I still have no plans to get it back to the original owner, though.
I don't have a whole lot to say about Freddy Krueger's Tales of Terror: Twice Burned just yet. I'm hoping to give it a good read-through sometime this week, and maybe hopefully there's a future post lurking within those pages. If you're fiending for some nightmarish tales now, however, you can always go take a a quick detour over to Miss M's place. Her latest Dorkette Book Club featured another title in the series, Virtual Terror, and I'm sure it pales in comparison to the personal tale she also shared with her readers in that very same post.
Because I needed more reasons to declare The Goodwill Geek one of the most generous individuals I know, he decided to include Stephen King's Cycle of the Werewolf, a novella I've been searching for a copy of for a while now. Eric from Toyriffic posted about it as part of his own Halloween countdown a little while back and I happened to leave a comment mentioning my hunt. So, naturally, G.W being the observant and way-too-nice guy that he is, noticed that and sent a copy my way. Because he really is just that incredible a person.
It almost makes me sick with gratitude and envy.
Where as Son of Celluloid, a vicious graphic novel that features the art of Steve Niles, might just make me nauseous with its gory and violent depictions of a sentient tumor tormenting the occupants of a movie theater. Most of Clive Barker's works leave me feeling a little filthy, but I think this one will probably earn the top-spot when I eventually get around to devouring the book's contents.
Like I said, the man pays attention. And while I've never been shy about sharing my love for magnetic tape, it's always nice to add some more analog to the collection. The Last Starfighter is an old favorite of mine, but one that I haven't found before on video, so I'm glad to have it. I also had never heard of The Final Sanction before tearing it free from that box, but it looks amazing and the description on the back does not disappoint. We may be seeing the return of my "weekly" [ha ha] Be Kind, Please Rewind feature soon so I can pay the proper respect I'm sure it deserves.
My sincere thanks once again to The Goodwill Geek for amazing gifts, sure, but especially for always sharing kind words and thoughts, and for giving us one of the best blogs out there. Here's to you, mate!
...he also sent me The Boxing Noid and I seriously love it more than life itself.